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The Chatroom, the Skateboard and the Man = Life
by Iwalda
It started in the year 2001. It was summer in South Africa, but that's all. No summer in my heart, which changed my life dramatically. In those lonely days and mysterious nights, I curiously visited a chatroom hosted by "Perry" and soon enough I felt at home. The next thing I knew, there was a writer's workshop once a week in this particular chatroom where I met Carolyn and my fellow Skateboarders. How wonderful it was to meet up weekly and chat about writing, meet new people but most of all, be inspired to write! That was also what I did for a living way back then, and bringing the two worlds together was a bonus!
Nothing could prepare me for who I would meet, whether I would like them or not. I was extremely cautious of chatrooms and had read many articles of people having very bad experiences when giving out personal details and even meeting people in real life. Nevertheless, I continued my cyber social life. Every night after putting the kids to bed, I would pop in and say hello, my fingers darting over the keyboard with excitement. Oh, the wit, the charm and the fun I came across was an escape from real life.
One Saturday in February a newbie strolled into the chatroom and I fervently warned this gentleman of all the bad things that could happen in or via cyberspace if he did not use caution. LOL. That's the best expression to describe it, although true. You see, after a few months, this man decided he would like to meet me for a cup of coffee in a public place where it would be safe for both of us. So he bought an airline ticket – he lived in the United Kingdom and set off for a cup of coffee 6000 miles south of the map. As he puts it, "to the bottom of the map". The coffee was delicious, then we had tea, we could not say goodbye. Six days later he asked me to marry him, and I said "yes". Of course it makes sense; it would mean we could have coffee together every day. Or tea. Or wine. Or whatever life throws at us. Yes, even lemonade. I'll not bore you with the details, but the memories lie fondly in my heart and always make me smile.
In January 2002 we got married in sublime settings. It was summer in South Africa again, but now it was also summer in my heart. I had married my soulmate and was ready for the big move to England, knowing that our hearts would have to keep us warm, as it was winter up north. Again my life would change dramatically but this time it was by choice. And I was loved which made a world's difference.
Still, one cannot live on love alone. I had met my writer friends and we all gathered on the Skateboard newsgroup where we could write, chat, have a laugh, shed a tear and share our lives. I left my home country with a hotmail address and a prayer that I would find my way back to Skateboard. It was a struggle to get back at first, mainly due to my lack of knowledge, but Barb kindly (and patiently) e-mailed instructions until I was back in the newsgroup. Here I was in a new country, no family, surviving culture shock, all so new, and me … the woman with the accent … wherever I went. What didn't change was the newsgroup, apart from newbies and lurkers (like me) flouncing in and out. With the click of the mouse a very familiar door opened and I stepped back into a comfort zone, a place that was like home and somebody was always in. I could just make myself comfortable, relax and enjoy the company of my cyber family. The wonder of it all still is that we live on different continents, although people call England an island, there are time differences, but like I said, someone is always home. And the fact that I have an accent does not matter, everyone understands me perfectly well, because people don't read in dialect, they read what they see in front of them and a writer reads with the mind's eye. It is art. I will not even address the fact that I am not English speaking; the times my brain was twisted and I was exhausted of thinking in English all the time are numerous. I have found that it is better not to think too much and just speak. It seems I can now do it without concentrating too much. Who would have thought that?
My gratitude to Perry and my fellow Skateboarders I will never be able to put into words. By visiting a women's chatroom hosted by Perry, I found friends, I found love, I moved from one country to another. I can continue meeting everyone in the newsgroup, continue "coming home" without prejudice. Sometimes life gets in the way of what we want to do, like write or just sit down with a book – but the family is always there, there is always somebody that understands and can relate. Distance does not make a difference, the attitude of your heart does. Follow your heart, as long as it is good, it will never let you down. Your heart is bigger than the vastness of oceans, the distances between countries, the height of mountains, the prejudice amongst people. It will always lead you to a safe haven … I can say this, because I know.
©2006 Iwalda
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