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di's Insite
One Hand
Sometimes all it takes is one hand reaching out to you to make a difference in your day. Lately, it seems as if I have been drowning in stress, trying to find a new home to keep my pets, knowing my pets depend on me for their lives.
I have been calling vets for help, searching for someone who really does care that these animals have a caring home and good medical help. Through one outreach came another one, referred to me. I was reached by a widow who is donating part of Lady's, my Maltese, medical bill needed for her health.
Lady is a Maltese found one day wandering in Dallas traffic when she was a pup. She truly is our little Lady, dainty and dignified. Now at ten years old, she is almost blind and badly needs her teeth cleaned and some pulled. It breaks my heart that she would end her life in pain without medical help soon. So this reaching out from a stranger has touched me deeply. She will get her teeth cleaned soon, and some pulled. She has skin allergies too and I work hard at keeping her free of fleas but here, with stray pets walking the paths, she easily picks them up again.
A dog seems less of a priority than people, yet it is our pets that keep us going during widowhood. Their unconditional love is sought when tears seem to overwhelm us and when we would give up, if not for our responsibility to them. Besides the health benefits of having pets, there are the lessons we learn from them, too. My pets make me laugh on days when clouds threaten to rain with the grief monster hail.
Shadow has been with me through some life changes that would daunt the most loyal of friends. Found matted and forlorn six years ago, he quickly adopted me and went on a 1000 mile trip willingly, camping beside me in dark forests without fear. This standard poodle is the clown of the group, and his antics has gone through many moves and my husband's death. He was there, snuggling close the night before Ron's funeral, laying his muzzle across my neck, his paw on my shoulder, throughout the night, softly snoring in my ear! I felt protected in a home that had quickly become a cage to me. Trapped by circumstances that were threatening both of us, I couldn't have felt safe without him by my side. He is my rock now, and not to give him the yard to jump after his Frisbee or play with the others, hurts too. I need to find us a home with a yard where we all can feel safe again.
Brownie is a rescue dog too, joining us from a shelter. Part German shepard, part chow, he is the gentleman of the group. Gentle beyond understanding, he never eats until the others have, and never takes their toys. He walks sedately at my left side, ears always straight up listening and observing for strangers. He never barks or growls, but watches intently for anyone to approach me without an invite! He will lie beside my bed, looking lovingly with those brown eyes at me, taking only a pat on the head for his reward.
Rascal is the youngest, who once rescued, decided she would be the queen of the group. Full of energy, she is part lab and heeler-- all sleek black except for her heeler spots on her paws. She is the stalker of birds in the group, never barking at them, but slowly approaching, and will spot one far off on our walks. I know there is a bird somewhere, because she will slowly pull towards it, quietly, with her ears and eyes riveted with her intent. She smiles so much that she makes me smile. Her adoration of me is such that she will cry until she gets her hugs and belly rubs. How can I not take pride in her love?
I know some would think one dog is enough but I have been raised with dogs in my life and they are essential for my well-being. I never thought I would love cats equally well until Tiger and Sapphire came into my life.
Sapphire loves to watch my computer and sits nearby, purring as she is stroked. She is the most curious one and will inspect all new packages and bags brought in. She loves to tease Tiger, who is declawed, and she will jump him every chance she gets. Tiger loves it and will cry for her if she leaves him alone too long. Siamese, he is unusual in that he talks seldom, only mews to let me know it is time for a treat. What endears me to him the most, is his love for Shadow, the black poodle. Shadow hasn't always loved cats but he bonded with Tiger right away. Tiger doesn't care for dogs but tolerates these now. Rescued too, he was mauled by a dog when a kitten. Now when he yells as Sapphire pounces on his smaller frame, Shadow goes running to the rescue. Sapphire is not afraid of Shadow but she respects the friendship, and will leave Tiger alone as Shadow checks him over for bruises. I found them sleeping on the bed one day, nose to nose. This from a dog who used to chase cats!
So you see, dear friends, the lady who reached out to me with a loving offer of medical help for one of my dogs, really did make a difference in my day. Perhaps my other needs seem more important to some, but this one outstretched hand from a stranger, touches my heart and gives me hope. Just that she cared about me and my pets has made all the difference as I look forward to making a new life for us.
Touch someone in your life today with hope. A helping hand is not about money, it is that caring, that touch we all crave.
hugs, di
WidowNet is a web site with information for widows and widowers and forums on all stages of grief:
http://www.fortnet.org/WidowNet/
by di
If you are a widow or widower, talk to me.
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© 2003 di
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