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di's Insite
Uniform Prejudices
While talking to a young serviceman one day, I discovered he was a United States Marine by his profile. I mentioned this to him and was surprised at his reply. 'Does it make a difference to you?' he asked.
'No, why should it?' I asked.
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'Well, I noticed in your profile, you don't like violence.' he replied.
'Are you violent?' I asked him.
'I don't consider myself violent.' he said.
'Then why did you think I would think you were?' I asked.
'Because people here think all Marines are violent.' he said.
For a minute, I was shaken. 'My step-brothers were Marines.' I told him.
He is stationed in Hawaii and continued to tell me the prejudiced attitudes he had been faced with just because he is in the service. Marines are considered the tough ones of the service. He thought of himself as a caring, gentle man, but his image in the serving of his country was one of a violent man. I assured him, I only thought of servicemen and women as people serving their country. Until someone proves they are violent people, I don't assume they are, especially not servicemen/women.
I got to thinking later about what he said of his image to others. Those of us with relatives who have served in wars, remember them as they were before they went into the service. We don't think of them as violent, but as people who are serving their country. I remember my brothers before they went into the Marines as gentle country boys. Barely out of high school, they chose the Marines for the handsome uniforms and because of the tough reputation. They had never traveled nor ever faced with a killing of another human. It was a rude awakening, to say the least, when they found themselves in the infantry in a strange land serving a war unpopular back home. The letters I received from one, shocked me. I was unaware and naive then about war. My brother was angry and his letters were filled with a language I had never heard him use before he left home.
When both brothers came home after their assignment, they were changed men. Sadden by the reception and feeling out of place in their old surroundings, they both re-enlisted and went back to Vietnam. After that tour of duty, one came back an alcoholic, meeting his death on a country road late one night while driving drunk. The other went on to become a family man.
I never thought of either man as violent. I began to talk to others after that conversation on the net. How do we judge someone in uniform---whether it be a soldier, a policeman, a guard, or even an FBI man? Do we automatically consider they chose their career because they are violent people?
In all walks of life, in all careers, there have been reports in the newspaper of people who were violent. Recently, it has been reported in the news of kids killing their classmates. Gangs everywhere are thought to be violent-- and granted, some have committed crimes. Yet in all careers, schools and yes, even some gangs, there are people who are not violent. I don't automatically think of school children as violent!
Who comes to your mind when you think of someone as violent? Do you watch everyone for any signs of behavior that may indicate violence? Or do you find yourself looking at the lower class as the source of violence? There are rich people, middle class people and poor people who commit violent crimes.
All I am saying, is when we judge someone as violent just because of where they came from or from what they wear, or the career they show, we may be doing them a disservice. Someone's child grew up to be a nice, caring person, who decided to serve us all in a career that allows the carrying of a gun. Whether we are for or against guns, the point here is not all gun-carrying careers are filled with violent people. Because they care, they serve. And if one of them becomes tomorrow's headlines for a crime they committed, it is not the career's fault. It is the person's choice that made them choose a violent act.
Until we are faced with a war we are personally in, or faced with a criminal pointing a gun at us, we cannot say with accuracy, what we would do. Some of us think we would not use a gun no matter what situation we find ourselves. Survival may teach us differently.
A friend told me he felt comforted when in a strange area and he sees a uniformed policeman. He thinks of them as security---knowing if a criminal sees the policeman, he will be unlikely to commit a crime in the policeman's presence. I know that when I have had to stop late at night at a gas station or a cafe, it is reassuring to see a patrol car parked there.
Our daily freedom here in America, depends on our service people. Our attitudes may hurt them more than you realize. The next time you see a uniform, stop and do some introspection. How are you reacting? Are you suspicious? Feeling threaten or feeling protected? Do you see the person behind that uniform? Can you see the career choice and the person's personal duty bound determination? Is your attitude prejudging?
I talked with the so-called army brats-- the kids who were shuffled around while a parent served in the service of their country. All told me of the benefits of seeing other states and countries, learning first hand of cultures they would not have seen otherwise. Yet all mentioned the prejudice they faced just because a parent was in the service. Our attitudes are far reaching of the person standing before us. If we judge them as violent or unsuitable for our own culture group, then we lay that label on an entire family. The children bear a burden too.
There are labels for many career people... we use them to prejudge a person at times. For example, we tend to think of computer science students as geeks or nerds. Using slang is one way our prejudice shows. We may pass jokes about another culture, thinking we are open and just kidding them as they kid themselves. However, that attitude gets picked up by the kids around us, and whole new families someday will repeat it.
In elementary school, we teach our children to obey the traffic walk lights. Policemen are brought into the classroom to familiarize our kids with the 'nice policemen' in case they should ever need to ask for help. Yet some parents will in the same week, disobey a traffic law, while watching to see if a cop is around, hoping aloud not to get caught breaking the speed limit, or parking in a no parking zone! Maybe that sounds petty to you... but think about it. We give our kids mixed messages; when we say a uniform has to be watched for, they become suspicious of all uniforms. Help them instead, to see the person behind that uniform. Maybe if we all look at others as people who have needs like our own, who have a caring heart, we can love them without prejudice. Let the uniformed servicemen feel proud when we look at them and smile. The next time you see a policeman, see his family. Remember, their kids may be seeing you too.
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© 2000 di
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