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di's Insite
Online Romance, Part 3
When I first went online over a year ago, I heard rumors of women who left their families behind to go to a man who had won their hearts online.
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I didn't think much of the stories... after all, what kind of woman leaves her kids to run off with a man she barely knows? My mind could not fathom such a romance. Gradually, as I became more experienced surfing the net, I met others who swore they had met the love of their life. Again, I was skeptical of their descriptions of this perfect love.
I made friends online, talking to them each day on ICQ and MSN Instant Messager. I found them funny and caring-- now, they are like an extended family. We said hello when we saw each other online and asked about each other's day or previous problems mentioned. Then I began to talk to those who told me stories of how an online love they thought they had was now over.
I met such a man last Spring-- he laughed and told me his personal stories... it seemed we had a lot in common. So we decided to meet. At the last minute this was canceled. I never met him. And we did not talk again. I won't tell you dear readers, that it did not hurt. Even though we had not met in person, I felt like I had lost my best friend. I began to understand how one person messaging can affect another when personal lives are shared online. This last story in the series will tell you of one of those romances that actually became a marriage.
A year ago, in August of 1998, Bill, who lived in Australia, met Kate online. Kate lived in Tennessee and worked as a bookkeeper. Bill was not highly educated and wrote misspelled English. Kate has three kids to get off to school each morning so she would sit at her computer, watching the time for the bus to arrive. She told me she had talked to a lot of men on the net and was aware of the perils of taking someone too seriously. She had met a few for lunch.
Yet Kate met Bill on ICQ by chance. At first, Kate thought she was being messaged by a kid! She didn't take him seriously. Both he and Kate have been married once before and divorced. Each has three children. Bill has eight grandchildren, Kate three. His parents are still living, hers are not. He sent his picture over the net to her-- she said he looked like an average man.
After about a month of sending messages, she began to like this man who was there each day to talk to her. She told him not to take her seriously as he lived too far away for them to ever meet. As time went on, he talked to her and the younger kids, then her older daughter. Finally in October of last year, Bill called her. Kate liked his voice; she told me, 'it was beautiful.' They began to phone once a week.
It took six months of daily messaging/conversations for Bill to one day realize he did not want to go one day without a message from her. He told Kate he was saving to come over to meet her in person. Try as he might, he could not save enough fast enough. Kate's family was alarmed that she was meeting and taking this man seriously. Her grandson was furious with her for considering meeting a man from the net who lived so far away. Kate has custody of her 12 yr. grandson and 10 yr. granddaughter.
Finally on April 10th of this year, two days before his 53rd birthday, Bill was able to make the flight to meet his net sweetheart. His plane was an hour late, finally making the landing at 11 p.m. He had traveled for 24 hours, arriving unshaven and weary. Kate said he looked rough! He came off the runway to hugs from the kids and a kiss for Kate who is taller than he is. Kate said she had thought she loved Bill before, but that first kiss sealed it! Going out for a bite to eat, the kids kept the conversation going. It was dark on the two hour trip to Kate's house so Bill saw little of the countryside that night.
Bill took a room in the basement to sleep that night. The next morning, Kate tried to prepare her 3 year old granddaughter who had come for a visit, telling her not to be scared of Bill. Bill came up the stairs and talked to the little girl, making laughter ring through the house. Later, he went back downstairs while Kate cooked Sunday dinner. The 3 year old came back in later from outside and asked her, 'Where did Grandpa go?' She had never seen a man in Kate's house before and the remark surprised them both.
That first day they all sat around watching TV and talking. As time past, Kate began to dread Bill's return to Australia. Bill told me he knew within days his love was genuine for Kate and the kids.
Now they realized they wanted to marry. After several calls they found they could get married with his passport and birth certificate. They drove to Memphis to get immigration papers for him. The marriage took place in a little chapel in Pigeon Forge on May 15, 1999.
After the marriage, they began working earnestly on the paperwork needed to allow Bill to remain in the United States. Kate said it is very serious work, taking time to answer all the questions. Forms are run through the FBI. Money was involved too. I found out from Kate, when all the forms had been sent, the total cost was close to $500! Even fingerprints had to be made at a cost of $25. Though the first forms did not request it, the agency mailed asking for copies of birth certificates, divorce papers, the marriage license, etc. Ninety days later, they were driving back to Memphis for his green card which is good for one year and renewable. They found it would be twenty-four months before they will have an interview so they can prepare for him to become a United States citizen.
Bill has started back to school to get his G.E.D. since he had dropped out at a young age. He said he was learning English all over again!
Kate tells me he is wonderful with the kids though somewhat firmer than she. He plays with them in their yard, goes to baseball games with them-- a game not as popular in Australia. He took a hunting course with her 12 year old son. Bill has found he loves the squirrels who frequent their yard-- they do not have them in his country. Now, Kate says, their backyard has all kinds of bird and squirrel feeders Bill has put in! He planted flowers too; Kate said in her whole life, she never had flowers in her yard. Bill has fixed some things in the house too.
Now you are probably wondering as I was, are there any problems that have arisen from this intercontinental pairing? Yes, a major one for Bill: he is not used to the spicy foods Kate's family is fond of preparing! Now Kate is learning how to cook more bland foods for Bill, while he tries to adjust his palette with the richer American foods. He doesn't like biscuits and gravy (Bill calls biscuits scones and crackers biscuits).
They are looking forward to their first Christmas together. In case you are wondering, I asked how he was doing. He misses his Australian family and friends but both love each other deeply and want only happiness in their future together. From talking to them both, dear readers, I just have this good feeling about these two. I think no matter what comes their way, they are prepared to make each other very happy!
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© 1999 di
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