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di's Insite
Hate is Killing Our Kids
In light of reading the Littleton's High School email postings, I found a letter to them from a man who had first-hand knowledge of how hate can affect our children.
I emailed him, asking if I could show his letter here on di's Insite and he agreed.
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I would like to tell you that I have never found the South this way, but I cannot. From personal experiences, I have seen the parents tell their children that other races were stupid, not to be trusted, and lacked the education "we get" and are not as good as whites. I am appalled that it still exists among adults as well as children in our schools.
If we as Americans, want to ever show the world we are indeed a nation with ethics and tolerance, one with religions that practice brotherly love, then we must teach our children the value of our fellow neighbors, regardless of creed or race.
There is much to be said for parent involvement in our schools and in our children's lives. We cannot guide them to better futures without less ethical and tolerance lessons.
I urge you to become involved in a child's life, become a mentor at a school, a tutor for education, a adopted grandparent for those needing family love and support, and get involved with lawmakers for removing killing weapons on the streets.
There is a big difference in hunting weapons and killing weapons used by gangs to shoot the most to kill at a time. Let's prepare to prevent another tragic mass killing like this ever happening again. It may happen over and over again if we do nothing.
Mr. Hounon's letter follows:
School Killings: A Denial of the Obvious?
Greetings :
For two, hard post-graduate years of my old life, I worked as a School Intervention Clinical Counselor, in rural Georgia, a place that claims to be the New South. Being originally from Chicago, and California, I was not prepared for the level of racism that existed in the Southern school systems.
Though most of my assigned schools were poor working whites, I was assigned a few high schools that were middle-upper income whites. The main problem that I'd encountered with these middle-class kids, was cultural isolation, over indulgence, emotional neglect, and mild to severe family dysfunction. These kids were into all sorts of "Gothic" dark and deviant activities, from Satanism, Vampirism, self-multilation, parental violence, wanton sex, hate-filled music, extremist groups, drugs and eating disorders.
Most had extensive psychological histories in which their parent's, lacking in emotional commitment, time and parental skills, used medications such as ritalin, and prozac as substitutes. And most of these kids had already been in several drug re-habs, or emergency psychological treatment facilities before their senior year of high school.
This is not to mention their average family situation, in which most of these kids were products of multi-marriages by their parents, who can't seem to get it together in the relationship dept., and they often tend to triangulate (involve) their kids in their relationship horrors.
Several of my female clients were victims of on going sexual, verbal, and physical abuse by step-fathers, and boy-friends of their mothers. Many of these kids too, have had numerous brushes with the law, from GTA (grand theft auto), to shoplifting and assault, but were given very light sentences because of who their parents were.
Crimes that the average black male would be doing hard time for.
These are simply a few of the "dark dirty little secrets" that suburban America tends to deny when it comes to their kids. The most darkest and unfortunate problem I'd encountered was the racism by their parents. They teach these children to hate.
In most cases, this is taught indirectly in their homes by their comments, attitudes, and associations against people of color. In some cases, the kids are mimicking their parent's behavior in the extremist organizations that they are affiliated with. It was not unusual for me to be pre-warned by the school principal that the child that I am about to treat, comes from a family that are active members of the KKK, Nazi Party, etc., I dealt with this venom daily.
When their children are sent to counseling as a last alternative to permanent expulsion, they were shocked and embarrassed to see that I am AA. I did not fit any of the horrific stereotypes that their kids had been socialized to accept, and to their parent's horror, their kids were making progress with me in treatment. I especially suffered the hardest time with the mothers. I would force them to come into treatment and help "fix" their child. When they would discover that I was black, overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, incompetency, competitiveness, and racism would seize them to such a degree that they would pull their child out of our treatment against professional advice. That's how deep the problem is.
My presence was a total contradiction that they could not justify or explain to their kids. Truly working those communities was a madhouse. My anger at this incidence comes from experience with these communities and how they really are, as oppose to the expensive homes, manicured lawns, and impeccable portfolios that tend to blind others to the realities of what is really going on.
When a parent teaches hate to their child, anything that they do as a result of it is the fault of the parent. Those parents are not victims. It is no way they can tell me or anyone with good sense that they had no idea their child was not emotionally well.
As a rule, when we have children like this, I do not look outside the family. My experience has shown me that in 99.9% of the cases, the problems lies within. In this case it is a problem of the "extended family" of America, that allows hatred and violent organizations to exist for the sole purpose of insult, intimidation and scapegoating. Those child-killers, already had a societal sanctioned place to legitimize their hate. Their victims were merely sacrificed on the altar to America's God of Hate. If America doesn't wake-up, accept and deal with this issue realistically and honestly, it [senseless hate rage-massacres] will happen again, and again.
God Help US All,
Mamaissii Dansi Hounon
© 1999 di
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