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di's Insite
Camper Comments
My previous article, Camper Comments, generated some email about the squirrels mentioned. I was surprised at how popular they were and I received some good natured ribbing about my current travels and camping out again.
When one of our writers challenged the rest of us to write how it might feel to be illiterate in today's society, I got to wondering; what if a squirrel could read and write? If that is possible, I am in for trouble after writing about them! I read about a monkey who is able to read sign language but I don't think I ever heard of one able to write or use a computer to write.
On our MSN WomenCentral Writers' Circle newsgroup, writers post their stories for others to critique. It was there I saw the challenge to write how it might feel to not be able to read or write. Now if one of those squirrels saw that forum, he could read some of my writings there... hmmmm... guess I had better be prepared for another camper's experience with squirrels! Here is what COULD happen if one squirrel read that challenge on being illiterate.
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Let's Talk About It!
Issues newsgroup
Join us to talk about this article!
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From: A. Peanut
To: MSN.forums.womenonline.writers.circle
Subject: illiteracy
I resent being called illiterate-- not being able to read or write. After all, from where I come from, it really is not necessary. If I want to know anything, I just ask someone, like Owl who knows everything (and everyone's business, but don't tell him I told you so).
But for writing, I am having Wigglebutt, my nestmate, to send this to you. She has been keeping an eye on that "di" writer who has been spreading ugly rumors about us.
For the record, I, Peanut, have NEVER thrown nuts at her while she is camping-- if you want to call what she does "camping." For one thing, that house of hers is poorly constructed-- no leaves inside and very little food around. I left the poor soul a pine cone on her doorstep, trying to be neighborly and all. Did she appreciate it? NO! She threw it back into the trees! Now I ask you, would you not consider that as an insult? Being the forgiving squirrel I am, I overlooked it the first time.
I saw her wandering around one night trying to get to that popular human meeting place, the Hard Rock Cafe and knew she had no idea where she was going. Again, being the neighbor's welcome nester, I carefully laid out some pine cones for her to follow. Did she follow them? NO! In fact the clumsy fool fell over one (how can you trip over a tree root with just two feet? Try managing four and then you can brag!) right smack dab in the middle of vines.
Anytwitch, I tried not to laugh but if you could have seen her tangled up... hey, the mosquitoes thought it was party time! I was up in Oak, trying to keep an eye on the poor thing, but admit I laughed so hard that I dropped my nut, which hit her on the head. I tried to hide behind the branch but she saw me and would not listen to my explanations. Some you win and some you don't.
As for reading here in Chip 'n Dale, it isn't much required, though as you can see Wigglebutt has perfected the skill. She was raised by a pair of humans who she fondly remembers. They read that box liner to her every morning and being the smart squirrel she is, picked reading up real well.
However, to win her paw, I had to come up with a click box for her. See, I am known for my connections around these parts. I told Crow that if I did not have Wigglebutt in my nest soon, I was going to be a nut instead of eating one. Crow (who by the way, cannot read or write either, but manages to eat his words quite often, is a good collector) said he knew of a huge storage nest and would ask his buddies to help. Not sure who they are but he calls one Ratface. I later heard he had Chip to help him reconfigure Minnie's box bed, a mighty thoughtful gesture on her part. Minnie sure loves a woods romance!
Anytwitch, not long after, here comes Crow with Wigglebutt's click box. You should have seen her tail twitching (the first thing that got MY eye, let me tell you)! In no time at all, her dainty fingers were clicking away. I thought for sure she'd let me into her nest then, but after a few twitches (she sure knows my weaknesses) she wanted some paper for it, and leaves would not work in her clicker.
Now that occurred about the time that "di" showed up in Chip 'n Dale. First thing she did was carry out to that table a bigger version of Wigglebutt's click box! And right beside it was a whole nest of paper. Of course I TRIED the preferred method of commerce around the these parts-- bartering. Very nicely, I brought my best pine nut to her, offering one for one of those papers (Wigglebutt can make them the right size with her perfect rosy mouth). The witch threw a rock at me!
Still the diplomat I am, I offered her another of my stash: a piece of apple-- albeit from the higher branch (my momma didn't raise no dummy). I am sorry to say she was violent from then on. I just hated to do it, but for Wigglebutt's sake (and my own sanity), I took her paper nest... the whole thing 'cause I knew she would never barter with me. I did pay for it and left the biggest pine cone I could find on her doorstep.
The wicked witch yelled at me for that! I cannot help it if she is two legged and still can't use them. She skinned her own hand when she fell over my offering, I DID NOT push her. Owl will tell you that! (note from WB: that is true too 'cause I was watching him, though he does not know, just cannot resist that tail of his-- sh sh, don't tell him. Males are such an egotistical bunch!)
Anytwitch, she caused trouble from then on.
Wigglebutt had to click out some notices which Jay took around CND to everyone. We held a meeting and voted to keep watch day and night, taking turns. This creature was going to stay here forever if we did not help her find her way out.
First thing brought up was her loud intrusion on our nightly nap... she kept her smoke machine encircling the roads throughout the night! None of us got any rest while she was around. All we could do (since she refused any of my trail markings) was keep an eye on her, before one of our youngins got run over. We set Owl up to sound the alarm at night if she should try to find her hard rock cafe.
Anytwitch, so you see, I don't need any writing or reading skills with WB around. My honeynut will take care of that for me (note from WB: I will, too, as long as that buckface Twitchie will keep her tail to herself! Such a twitcher she is around ALL the males).
I have been lurking for good reasons so we can spread the word to our cousins-- it's just a family-safe thing to do. Just remember, all them words you all like so much, may not be true, ESPECIALLY from that "di" witch!
Twitchingly yours,
A. Peanut
P.S. I am enclosing my latest picture just so you can see what a honest squirrel I am. (note from WB: don't get any ideas ladies, he is all MINE!)
© 1999 di
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